Friday, July 29, 2005

Ah the humor of science...

Nothing much happening now, I am suffering from a sinus/ head cold/ infection malady, that makes my head feel as though it weighed 80 lbs, and my voice sound like the frog prince. However, I did find this, which made me laugh until I cried, hope you all enjoy, sorry for the length.

OK, the story behind this is... There's this nutball who digs things out of his back yard and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsonian Institute, labeling them with scientific names, insisting that they are actual archeological finds. The really weird thing about these letters is that this guy really exists and does this in his spare time! Anyway... here's a letter from the Smithsonian Institute to this man who sent the Institute one of his 'major finds'.

From: Paleoanthropology Division Smithsonian Institute 207 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC 20078
Dear Sir:
Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled "211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post. Hominid skull." We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents "conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago." Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be the "Malibu Barbie". It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with your findings. However, we do feel that there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to its modern origin:
1. The material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are typically fossilized bone.
2. The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic centimeters, well below the threshold of even the earliest identified proto-hominids.
3. The dentition pattern evident on the "skull" is more consistent with the common domesticated dog than it is with the "ravenous man-eating Pliocene clams" you speculate roamed the wetlands during that time. This latter finding is certainly one of the most intriguing hypotheses you have submitted in your history with this institution, but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it. Without going into too much detail, let us say that:
A. The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has chewed on.
B. Clams don't have teeth.
It is with feelings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your request to have the specimen carbon dated. This is partially due to the heavy load our lab must bear in its normal operation, and partly due to carbon dating's notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic record. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced prior to 1956 AD, and carbon dating is likely to produce wildly inaccurate results.
Sadly, we must also deny your request that we approach the National Science Foundation's Phylogeny Department with the concept of assigning your specimen the scientific name "Australopithecus spiff-arino." Speaking personally, I, for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn't really sound like it might be Latin.
However, we gladly accept your generous donation of this fascinating specimen to the museum. While it is undoubtedly not a Hominid fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the great body of work you seem to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should know that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own office for the display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the Institution, and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your back yard. We eagerly anticipate your trip to our nation's capital that you proposed in your last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it. We are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your theories surrounding the "trans-positating fillifitation of ferrous ions in a structural matrix" that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus rex femur you recently discovered take on the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive crescent wrench.
Yours in Science,
Harvey Rowe Curator, Antiquities

Thursday, July 28, 2005

"Here I come to save the day!"

I just read this, this morning and I thought it was a hoax, but apparently there are giant mice on some Atlantic island that eat birds alive. That's comforting. Check it out, That is some terrifying sh*!.

*** Also, I saw three movies in the past 3 days: Constantine, Hide and Seek, and Saw. I liked all 3 movies, I didn't love them, but they were entertaining. This is how I rank films:
1.) "I love it",
2.) "it's entertaining",
3.) "it's enhhh",
4.) "it's absolute sh*!"

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

TV vs. History part 2

Ok so I watched the end of ABC's "Empire" last night and could not believe they resorted to that for a conclusion. As I previously posted "Empire" was no where near to being historically accurate, but it was entertaining for what it was. Last night however, the producers went a bit too far into the realm of what a friend called Third Earth. Here's some thoughts I had while watching this shennanigans:

1. "Where's Cleopatra hmmmm??? and why is Antony's wife older than Moses?"
2. "Ok they sort of got the tale of the legendary 3rd legion and the battle of Bribacti right, sort of."
3. "Oh dear Lord THAT's the legendary 3rd?? Aragorn's Army of the Dead, wearing the same uniforms as the rogues from Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, sure hope they can take down Antony's Mumakil."
4. "Why can't Agrippa and Octavius fight?? After all in real life they served with Caesar in Spain and were training with legions in Greece when he was killed"
5. "Oh I can't stand it anymore Octavius has Antony at sword point!?!?!?"

Mind you all of these were said outloud while the fiancee and I were on our respective couches watching the show. These thoughts out-loud were all preceded with "Honey" and answered with, "I know", "dammit", or "those bastards" I know she has no clue of what's going but the sarcasm is funny, and she knows how to make me laugh. Damn I love that woman.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

My brains are going into my toes.....

I just watched the launch of Space Shuttle Discovery a little over an hour ago, and it truly is an amazing sight to behold. The announcer on the news stated a little bit o' trivia by mentioning the fact that the Shuttle moves 8 times faster than a rifled bullet. That means it's anywhere from 16,000 fps-32,000fps. Sheesh. That has to be one hell of a ride. I'd probably be sick. Well that's all for now, I have to get back to prepping my X-wing for an afternoon sortie.

Monday, July 25, 2005

The Golden Horde

The past 4 days have felt like ravaging Mongols came through and pillaged and burned and then-poof, they were gone .

Quick run-down: my boy flew in thursday night, we ate and drank, he had rather large beer goggles on that we had to help him remove. I went to work friday, then golf, (btw refer to my earlier post about that infernal game, I shot in the 120s) then dinner, then regatta. We had a 10:30 pm call of "broken arrow". Saturday began as the obligatory day of sloth, tiger woods 2003 (shot a 46, much better, should stick to video game golf), fraggle rock, pirates of the caribbean, drinking, food, sleeping, go to a house party in hamburg where there was beer pong, more food, and yes more drinking, then downtown and more drinking. (my liver at this point was panting like the big guy on Teen Wolf's basketball team) Sunday was a going away party in Angola for the finacee's cousin, and yes more drinking, and my boy left sunday night on a jet plane.
Observations: I noticed that I just cannot do these marathons anymore the way I used to. Oh make no bones about it, I drank, but instead of ripping 4 cases of beer, or hooking up a Yuegling I.V. I had maybe 4-5 beers a night, and now I'm only slightly dead and not mostly dead.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Ya gotta Regatta....ya just gotta....

YAY!!! It's here It's here!!! The level regatta back home is this weekend. The level regatta is an annual event that occurs where the Niagara River meets Lake Ontario out in the wilderness. It is an old town (more than 250 yrs. old) that has only a couple thousand people that live in it. It's very Sleepy Hollow-esque, especially around the fall-time. At any rate, the regatta is a weekend-long party when 25,000 descend on this town and have a great time at the local tavern (which is around 200 yrs old itself) and have outdoor parties etc... So we have a convoy going upriver this evening, I'll report Monday on how the weekend of debauchery went.

Update: We had a "Broken Arrow" last night as my buddy from Fl. was an utter mess.

Question of the day: What if there were no more questions?

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Broken Arrow

I have a friend of mine coming in to town tonight for the weekend. He is the friend I've known the longest, (since High School) and the one I've gotten into the most sh$! with. At any rate we used to go out to the bars all the time and as such, have had numerous misadventures. Our bar stories are classic, but not like a Sinatra song classic, more like Bill Murray's "It's in the hole" monologue classic. One of them, which may, or may not be brought out again this weekend, (bet on "may be") was the cry of "Broken Arrow". It is derived from the U.S. military which would use the "Broken Arrow" code when completely overrun by an enemy.(i.e. utter disaster) Back in the day, we used it at the bars when one person reached the point of no return (maybe that meant vomitting, walking into walls, etc...) I'm sure between Thursday's concert downtown, tomorrow at the regatta, saturday downtown, and the party on sunday, there will be a quiver of broken-arrows. I'll fill you in....

Question of the day: Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

TV and history, not the best of friends

I am a television fan, I think it is a great invention, and thoroughly enjoy watching programs. I limit myself though to a select few programs. As History has been a lifelong passion of mine, I naturally gravitate toward the channel with the little "H" in the corner. However I also enjoy watching historically based fiction shows. That being said I have been currently watching 2 miniseries both based on historical events. TNT's "Into the West" and ABC's "Empire". Granted I understand that both of these programs are meant for entertainment, and I think both shows excel in this task. However, if one were to watch either of these programs and believe them to be historically accurate, that would be a grave mistake. Here are some observations I've had:

for ABC's "Empire"
1.) There was no Tyrannus, or at least certainly not one that was Caesar and Octaivus' bodyguard.
2.) Octavius was called son by Caesar after helping Caesar in battle in Spain. Thus, before the death of the great dictator.
3.) Caesar was in fact a populist politician or "man of the people", having held that view from his youth as Gaius Marius' nephew and Sulla's enemy. However, he certainly was not what we would call a completely selfless, pius saint. There was a strong sense of personal ambition fueling many of his actions.

* for a more thorough history, based on primary sources check out this web page.

for TNT's "Into the West"
1.) not every white man was guilty of high crimes against the indians. (maybe not even the vast majority)
2.) Custer was definitely a megalomaniac
3.) Indians were not always the misunderstood peaceful natives, they committed atrocious crimes against white settlers. (The term "savages" didn't come from thin air)

*for a better picture of the expansion into the West check out this site

Hope this helps you all, lemme know.

Question of the Day: If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done?

Tuesday, July 19, 2005


I just don't understand. I watch it on television and it looks effortless, one smooth movement. I try it in real life and no so much. I begin swearing bi-lingually and hungrily looking for some geriatric (who hit the ball father than I did) to strike down. Ah Golf, the gentleman's pastime. Riiiiight. Who the hell thought it was a good idea to whack a little ball into a tiny teacup size hole in the grass, 500 yds away amidst water, trees, crabgrass, and giant pits of sand???? It's as though golfers are auditioning for the role of Indiana Jones, in the much ballyhooed 4th installment.
I just stared playing about 2 years ago, though what I do cannot possibly be called golf. I do however love driving the carts, and drinking the beers that have been stashed in the many pockets of my golf bag, where more important stuff like extra tees and towels should be. The majority of my friends have played for quite some time now, and know what the game entails, and which clubs to use etc.... I on the other just whack the hell out of the golfball and wait to see where it lands. I don't understand how I can be so utterly dominating at Tiger Woods golf for my nintendo (high round for 18 holes=39) and I shoot roughly the same score for 5 holes in real life!! Damn those infernal video games. I'm going to give it a whirl again this weekend, I'll fill you all in on the debacle that will surely ensue.

Question of the day: If a word in a dictionary is misspelled, how would you know?

Monday, July 18, 2005

The meat sweats, and a top ten list

As I told you all last friday, I ventured out to the annual Italian fest here in B-Lo. Here's the re-cap: 1 fried mozarella (my worst addiction), 1 steak and dandelion sandwich (for the fiancee), 1 Italian sausage sandwich, 1 cannoli, and 1 case of the meat sweats. As usual the food was excellent, the atmosphere was somewhat less than spectacular, and the 'bocce court' (if you call a steel lane with green indoor/outdoor carpeting over it, a bocce court.) was crowded. However, all in all, a good time. Now onto the top ten list... As everyone who knows me can attest, I am an autophile, I love automobiles, I research them incessently. Over the years I have developed a top ten list of my all time favorite here is the most recent revision in order from top to bottom:

1. 2006 Ferrari F430 Spyder--the most perfect automobile I've ever seen.

2. 1967 Shelby GT500E- I'm a mustang fan, but only('65-69 and 2005-?) This is the best.

3. 1955 Porsche Spyder- Excellent lines, fast, light, and immortalized by James Dean.

4. 1972-74 Ferrari Dino- Named after Enzo's son who designed it in the 50s!!!! waaaay ahead of its time.

5. 1955 Mercedes-Benz 300sl Gullwing- The doors, it's the damn doors.

6. 2005 Aston Martin DB9- 007 belongs in this car.

7. 1930 Mercedes Benz ssk (Count Trossi version)- a one of a kind car custom designed by the Italian Count for his collection... Now, it is arguably the most valuable car on earth.

8. 2002-present Lamborghini Murcielago-Lambo's finest to date.

9. 2005 Mercedes Benz SL65 AMG- look at the damn picture...need I say more??

10. 2005-current Mustang GT- I could put a whole number of autos here, but I've loved this car since I first saw the prototype 3 yrs. ago and I am hoping to have my order finished on one soon.

Question of the day: Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Friday, July 15, 2005

Festival Weekend

Today I go forth eagerly into the weekend of eating as I call it. The annual Buffalo Italian Heritage Festival is this weekend, and I am excited to go eat!!! If no one could tell by now, I am an Italian, and as such have an inordinate amount of pride in my heritage. (I'm also a bit Spanish as well) Therefore, I enjoy eating our food, and speaking the language of my forefathers. It's not the best, nor even the most Italian of festivals, in that the majority of patrons are not Italian, but it has good food, and gelato MMMMMMM. So I'll let you know how it was.

Question of the day: Why do Americans think all Italian families must be like the ones from the Olive Garden commercials??? I don't know any Italians that take relatives to the Olive Garden, that's a mortal sin. Sheesh.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Harry Potter and the legend of who gives a sh%!

Ok, so recently I heard that there have been leaks of the newest installment in the Harry Potter book series. Some claim conspiracy, I claim opportunity, and the fact that this is on national news is lunacy. There was a Canadian court that issued a gag order to everyone who bought the book early at a Vancouver book store. I'm guessing many of those purchases are kids age 10-14. Now I'm not sure about you, but when I'm excited about something I can't stop talking about it.(and that's now, imagaine how I was at age 12!) Also, I guess there was a bookstore in NYC that 'accidentally' sold the new book early. 'Accidentally'? yeeeeeahhh. Like that book store owner is looking at his crates of new Potter books and doesn't see the 24k gleam from them. Nah, he got confused and thought the H.P. crates were really some sappy book from the next edition of Oprah's bookclub. Maybe no so much.
I don't hate Harry Potter. I haven't read any of the books, but have seen the movies and enjoy them. Moreover, I commend J.K. Rowling, because she has done something ingeneous and has made a poopload of bank doing it. I just thought it was funny that the national media had coverage amounting to essentially a "HarryPotter-gate"

Question of the day: Better invention-penicillin or electricity??? (oooo damn, that is a tough one, I'm gonna think on that myself)

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

concert news

Here's something that may sound shocking. I have never been into going to concerts. I've only been to maybe a handful in my 27 years, and some were ok, some were not. I think I just never got into going to see bands, because many of the musicians I really would have wanted to see were either dead, or broken up. Moreover, I never really liked how bands sound live, sometimes the vocals are horrendous and I crave the cyber-enchanced (a la Luke Skywalker) vocals of recorded music. Also, I never do well with hundreds, if not thousands of people all around me. I freak out if I don't have enough of a personal space window around me.
That being said, my fiancee, has been the exact opposite, she has gone to hundreds of concerts in her 30 yrs. and absolutely loves them!!! Sooooo, what do think happened when Coldplay (her favorite band) started selling tickets....she got them and I'm going. I like Coldplay..a lot..but even more importantly I like the fact that I am going to the show (something I normally would not done) with my lady. So you'd think, well ok goose doesn't go to shows, maybe he should ease into it. Now for those of you who know me well, I don't really tend to do things by easing into them, so let's go!!! Fill it up Again!!!! and 2 wks after Coldplay, my loving finacee is coming with me to see The White Stripes at the Molson Amphitheatre in Toronto!!! I am excited about that b/c I am most impressed by the Stripes, and think they are currently the best group out there. More on them later....lunch time now.

Question of the day: I think maybe back in 1977 lightsabres were probably an effects tool, but now maybe not so much, I think perhaps they are real, thoughts????

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

"The Game" (or) Bar story #1

Ok guys, sorry about the rant earlier, just one of those long days. You know, one where you want to run fast and far over the distant hill and scream nonsensical swearwords like Yosemite Sam used to do in the Looney Tunes.(i.e. "rasa-fracka fricka fracka" and so on and so forth) That being said, I feel better and I promise to you, my fledgling, but faithful public that I shall not go on a political tirade/rant again....I hope.

On to the topic for this evening. I have many a tale to tell involving bars, drinking, parties etc... So let's begin with a rather tame one. A few years ago, I used to go to a bar quite regularly with my friends from college, and we would sit around, have some drinks, converse, have more drinks, play some darts, have more drinks, to the point where we began playing...."The Game".

Now the game goes like this-we'd sit in a quasi-circle (with more drinks) and come up with a topic such as, "names of beer", then everyone would have to provide a name without repeating one already said. Once one is repeated, or a person cannot provide an answer promptly, the next person in the circle comes up with a different topic and the game starts anew. It was silly, and sounds rather easy to do, however, the fun was in developing the topics, and then, subsequently coming up with an answer every turn. (after having had a few pops) So give it a shot next time you're out at a bar with close friends tipping a few back (warning not a club game, best used when at a pub/bar/party)

Question of the Evening: tonight's question is actually going to be an example of "The Game" The topic for you all to try is "Names of Transformers" ready....GO!

Something that's wrong...

Ok I am generally not a person who has infinite patience, in fact I don't have much patience at all. At any rate I tend to get aggravated, or at the very least annoyed, on a daily basis. Sometimes by minor things, sometimes not. So here's my favorite:

1.) The pervading selfish tendencies amongst the people of this country.
-Ok, this is the BIG one for me, probably the thing that I hate most of all. It is the ever-popular thought of "I, me, mine" that has worked it's way into the very core of the majority of the population of this country. Some blame MTV, some blame liberals, but most importantly the blame should be placed on parents. YOU are directly responsible for the turnout of your flesh and blood, your children. Liberal agendas and attitudes can only foment that which already exists. To that extent, liberal politicians and liberal media outlets cannot be blamed for their goading of America's fringe, that is the voter base they pander towards, to retain their political and capital power. However, just stop and think for one moment. How many articles, shows, songs, art, marketing taglines, have you heard within the past ohhh 15 years that have to do with the "self"? Or better yet, how many times have you heard"I don't have to" "I don't want to" "I'll do what I want"? What the hell is that attitude? "Well I'm American I have the right to do x" WHAT!?! Good Lord. Wake up people, stop being so damn self-serving, and decadent, and start thinking of things greater than yourself. (Trust me they are there, I don't care how great you think you are, you're only a mortal human being, so get over it) Moreover, and this goes out to television and the media, so pay attention. YOU WILL STILL HAVE PEOPLE WATCHING, READING, SUBSCRIBING, etc... to whatever product you put out. Hasn't 70 years of broadcasting taught you that yet??? Don't market toward the "I, Me, Mine". Stand apart, or better yet, stand up for something noble, just once... FINALLY, to parents- children are not merely a means of gaining extra welfare money, nor are they just fun little pets you can have and then when it gets too difficult you can just say "well kids are kids" I can't tell them what to do. YOU ARE THEIR PARENT, THAT IS YOUR JOB!!! It does not fall to teachers, or the government to raise your flesh and blood. It falls to you. So, if you are a greedy, selfish, American slob, make an effort for once in your life to contribute to something greater than yourself. Put down the remote, and read to your child, put down the twinkies and share an apple with your child. Put down the beer, and play with your child. Teach them RIGHT AND WRONG. BLACK AND WHITE. What's right is right, and what's wrong is wrong. Their is no such thing as moral grey areas. Just because you are fortunate out of pure dumb-luck to have been born here in the United States into whatever station you were born into, does not give you any inherent right to do whatever you please, whenever you please. There are things in this world more important than you, and your job/career. I promise you in 20-30 years no-one will care or remember how many cases you won, or how many accounts you amassed, or how many widgets you built, or anything like that. Your children are your legacy, raise them properly and decently so that they can be individuals that are proud, impressionable, and noble people, and you will be remembered forever.

Whew-ok there I could go on and on about this subject, even more than this, believe me I have, but for now I am done.

Question of the day-
What should I eat first at the annual Buffalo Italian Heritage festival, being held this weekend?

Monday, July 11, 2005


well this is the inaugural post for my blog, I hate this font ok hang on, let's try this one maybe??? ok it's a little better. This is my first blog posting and many of you I am sure have been left in absolute consternation over the absurd title. Belugas are yes the white whales of the arctic north, but also are code if you will, for the noxious fumes that may or may not be expelled from any number of individuals one may encounter. Now onto the title of my blog itself: "fill it up again..." it's a rallying cry of sorts, one that can be heard shouted at most any bar on the downtown strip of buffalo, at any given moment of any given weekend evening, so long as I, or a select few of my friends are partaking in galavanterous debauchery. At any rate, I am excited to have this blog up and running, and will post at regular intervals. Thank you and good night.

Question to think about: Who the hell thought it was a good idea to begin the mass adoption of politically correctness?

Lava Life Dating Reviews
Lava Life Dating Reviews